So I really really really wanted something. With as many kids as I have, this is not a good idea, unless you like disappointment. But I was going to be like everybody else, (or at least like I imagined they must be), for just this once.
I planned an impeccable approach. It took me days, but I balanced everything just right, and could see it happening. Right when I could almost touch it, despite my planning and extreme measures I had taken against it, my 5 year old decided to be completely uncooperative for no reason.
I had my cards stacked. I knew her and had taken every measure to make sure this would be what she too wanted. That she wouldn't be too tired, bored, thirsty, hungry, fidgety, or neglected! I had planned for everything!
I lost it on her.
I left the room, and as I pouted, I realized that I had thrown something away that I wanted even more.
As I rushed to my child's side, she smiled and it wasn't like she even forgave me as she hugged me with her trusting hands. She had never even felt a negative feeling towards me, despite my unforgivable behavior.
So often we lament that kids don't come with instruction manuals, but we thinking of it all wrong. We are not here to be perfect parents for our kids. If we were, we would, (I would hope), be much better at it than the vast majority of us are. Are kids are here to teach us, not from a book, but a very real lesson in hands on discovery learning. With their unconditional love and instantaneous forgiveness and utter lack of serious grudge holding, their compliance and lack of arrogance, unlike us, they are perfectly suited to be the teachers.
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